(Me You1) (Me You2) (Me You3) = Polyamorous ? Social ...
I first heard the word, ?polyamorous? while watching the Showtime series, ?The L Word.? It was season two and the women went on an Olivia Cruise vacation. A new character, author Phoebe Sparkle, held an open panel to discuss her new book and one woman in the crowd asked her if it was possible to be in a committed relationship and be polyamorous. Phoebe said it was possible and I said, ?What the hell is polyamorous?? According to the dictionary polyamorous is an adjective meaning, ?pertaining to participation in multiple and simultaneous loving or sexual relationships.? There?s an abundance of information on polyamorous lifestyles. As I read, I did find some people are living a life style similar to polygamy, but because religious belief is not the reasoning behind the lifestyle they are considered polyamorous. That?s all fine and dandy. For the purpose of this article I will focus on women in basic polyamorous relationships. We are familiar with the old double standard that a man can fornicate with as many women as he wants and not get labeled a slutacious bastard. (Thanks Mo?Nique for adding the word, ?slutacious? to my vocabulary) On the flip side a woman who fornicates with multiple men is considered a slutacious bitch. I do not agree with this. In my beliefs any person who recklessly fornicates with the masses is slutacious regardless of gender. So, what?s the difference between being polyamorous and being slutacious? Simply put, it is the nature of the relationships.
The polyamorous relationship isn?t solely about sex. Take a look at prostitution; the purpose is to have sex in exchange for money. This isn?t the case for polyamorous relationships. There is intimacy, trust, passion, and commitment; just a commitment to multiple people. I usually don?t use myself as an example in my writings unless I need to stress a point and this is one of those times. I do consider myself to be polyamerous. I have multiple and simultaneous loving relationships. To others who do not engage in a polyamerous life style they may find this to be absurd and borderline impossible. However, it?s quite possible to have more than one loving relationship simultaneously. My relationships lack formal commitment; I?m not married nor have I sat with either person and said, ?I?m your girlfriend and we?re not to date other people.? I prefer to say that we have an understanding. Due to our lives and the distances between us a polyamorous style relationship works.
Again, these relationships are not easy. I admit there are times that ?understanding? isn?t made clear and issues arise. I have found myself irritated by the actions of a lover, because I thought the understanding was clear. In my mind the understanding means that when I?m out with my boo (for lack of a better term) they need not bring their boo with them. I don?t want to see their boo. The only time I need to know about their boo is when it?s my time to hit the curb, because they?re going to be in a closed relationship with their boo. I have also hurt the feelings of a lover, because I was clear on the understanding, but insensitive. I admit I have been extremely blunt in telling a lover they aren?t all that special or that we aren?t really together so they need to pipe down. Trust me, that didn?t go over to well, and I only apologized for how I said the words.
Women, like men, are sexual beings, but our desires are a bit more complex. So looking at the sexual side of the polyamerous relationship, it gives women a higher chance of being satisfied sexually. Women are loving and affectionate creatures. We yearn for stimulation; mentally and physically. If the woman becomes careless in her polyamorous sexual relationships or removes the intimacy from the sex, she can be considered slutacious. There is a fine line between being a slut and being polyamorous; try not to cross it. From a young age women are taught to value themselves and to not fornicate with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. We are taught to cut off an aspect of being human; affection and sexual desire. Humans have sex for pleasure AND to procreate. If the sole purpose of humans having sex was to procreate we would have a mating season. We don?t! So to stifle a woman?s sexual desires is to stifle a part of her human existence.
Do I encourage being in a polyamorous relationship? Yes, I do. The key word in polyamorous relationship is relationship. It is a not a free for all or golden ticket for women to run amuck. It is a way to express our affection and sexuality. Throughout the course of your polyamorous relationship you might discover some things about yourself you never knew?you have been warned.
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Source: http://scommentary.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/me-you1-me-you2-me-you3-polyamorous/
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